Teach You How To Be A Good Talker.

When people talk, people usually start by choosing a topic. They focus on this topic and then turn to another topic, so choosing the right topic is very important.

If the topic of choice can be accepted, conversation will proceed smoothly.

If you choose an inappropriate topic, you can't interest everyone, and no one responds, and conversation fails.

Sometimes you may have the power to make others sit down to listen to you. They may pretend to listen to you attentively, but you can not force others to speak.

Inappropriate topics are mainly of the following types:

(1) about the speaker himself.

Some people always talk about their lives, and people may be interested in listening. After a long time, people lose interest or even avoid such talkers.

(2) taboo topics such as conjugal relations, conflicts among family members, and diseases that are reluctant to talk about.

If some people do not want others to inquire about their economic sources or economic conditions, etc.

So these topics should not be touched unless they mention it voluntarily.

(3) false topics. False topics refer to topics that can not be continued. If you start talking with "good weather today," there is nothing to respond to convenience.

If you find people around you do not want to talk with you, then check whether you have any problems in choosing topics.

The following are the ways of checking: take a week's time limit, and note down all the topics you choose when you talk with people.

If there are recurring topics, note the times behind the topic.

This gives you a list of topics you choose.

Examine the topic with more frequent occurrences and ask yourself two questions: if someone else always talks to you about such a topic, do you want to hear it? If you don't want to hear it, why?

People's

It is done in a certain order, not what we want to say, when we want to say it.

In conversation, both the speaker and the listener cooperate with each other to smooth the conversation.

Suppose three people, A, B and C, talk together. The ideal way of conversation is as follows:

1.A first began to speak. He chose a topic and spoke a few words around it.

2.A continues to talk about B through some ways.

3.B took the conversation and said a few words along the topic selected by A.

4.B chooses C as the next speaker.

5.C took the B's conversation and talked a few words along the topic.

6.C chooses A as the next speaker.

7. this process has been going on until we feel that there is nothing to say about the topic or time is running out.

In this process, everyone has roughly equal opportunities and time to talk, and when a person speaks, others can only listen.

8. the last person summarizes the topic of the A selection, and this time indicates that the topic is over, and it can lead to another topic.

It is precisely through this speaker and listener's exchange of position rules that conversation can proceed smoothly.

This rule is similar to traffic rules. Even if there is no police command, everyone will abide by the rules of stopping the green light with red lights, otherwise it will cause traffic jam.

Although the rules of conversation are not as obvious as traffic rules, they are strictly observed.

According to these rules, people who participate in conversation can decide to join in conversation or avoid conversation according to their needs.

If you want to join the conversation, you must wait for the speaker to pick up the time after he stops talking.

If you interrupt someone in the middle, you will be considered impolite.

If you want to hand over the topic to the next person, there will be a pause, implying that you have finished.

There are two kinds of bad ones.

Need to be corrected, one is to think and speak, and there is an undue pause in the middle of the sentence, which makes the listener unable to judge whether you have finished.

The other is to keep talking, without any pause, when people will have to interrupt you.

It is possible to give the topic to others by various means. Besides the pause mentioned above, it also includes asking a question and specifying a person's opinion.

But the important clue to the end of the talks is eye contact.

If the speaker is in contact with you when he stops, it shows that he chose you as the next speaker.

The same method can be applied when you are ready to give your voice to others.

So if you do not want to join the conversation, do not contact the person you are talking to.

The other situation is that the talker stopped, but he did not choose the next speaker.

In this case, there may be competition, that is, more than two people speak at the same time. According to the rules mentioned above, people should give up their rights, leaving only one person to speak.

Pay attention to other people's conversation. Oral conversation has many characteristics that need attention.

Words that speak are fleeting, and can not be inverted like listening to tapes.

The two sides of the conversation interact with each other. What they say can not be fully understood in advance. We need to revise what we say according to what people say before, and what we say affects the words behind the two sides.

Therefore, listening carefully and carefully to others is very important.

Only when we understand what others say can we respond effectively.

Only when we listen attentively, can we accurately judge whether the other side has finished talking before we can pick up the conversation in time, instead of presumptuous interruption or speaking without response.

The following are some bad listening habits that should be corrected.

A, listen to and think or exercise when you want to speak.

B, how bad it is to listen to someone while you want to talk. It will be much better to talk to someone else or yourself.

C, while listening, thinking about irrelevant details.

D, for a pause, grabs the conversation and pays great attention to every word the speaker says.

E, desperately wrote down every word the speaker said.

In order to improve their listening ability, they can use TV to practice.

Choose a talk show, sit down and listen attentively, and don't take notes.

Once I found myself wandering, I hurried back to the program.

Keep practicing until you can persist in listening to the 1.5 hour long program carefully.

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